In our lives, there are some things that should be non-negotiable. This simply means that it is not up for discussion or debate. This should include, but is certainly not limited to, our morals, godly character, and integrity. And for me, it has to include my faith in God, through Christ Jesus, my relationship with my husband, my children and their families, as well as my commitment to serve others in a way that glorifies God.

When you stay true to that which you value, and that which is important to you, you can not only stand firm in the most difficult times, but you will find that there are some things that will not even come your way. They will not come your way because that which you stand for becomes so imbedded in you. But one thing we must do is to see if perhaps we have some things that are negotiable that should not be, and vice versa.

As a divorcee years ago, I was determined that I was not going to marry ever again. For me, it was a matter of wanting to raise my children to serve God, and when they were out of the home, I would dedicate my years forward to running hard for the Lord (as the old saints would say), and to continue serving faithfully at my set place (because I was all in). This was not up for discussion — a non-negotiable, all of it. Clearly this was a non-negotiable that I had in the wrong place, because I did remarry, and to an absolutely wonderful man I might add. But what drew me in was that I also had a checklist of 13 must have’s in a husband. And every last one of those items were absolutely non-negotiable for me.

So much so, that one day after my divorce, I was dining out with two ladies, and both of them were single. We were talking and I shared with them my non-negotiable must have in a husband. Oh my, when they heard my list, I will never forget they broke out laughing. They told me there were two things that I needed to understand:

  1. What I desired did not exist; and
  2. If it showed up, had to get in the back of the line.

In other words, if there was any remote possibility of that type of a man existing, they wanted first dibs because they had never been married. Though we laughed, I knew that they were serious, and they knew that I was as well. But for me, what was a non-negotiable, became a reality because of another set of non-negotiables that were required for me if I were to remarry.

My question to you, as it relates to your life, your journey on being a better me, what are your non-negotiables. Yes it is true that we are to work on every area of our life, but in most cases we prioritize one area over the other.

If you do not have any non-negotiables, or shall I rephrase that and say if you have not sat down to determine what they really are, consider doing so. You owe it to yourself on this journey of becoming a better me.


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